KDCB II — 1988
The Clown Band learned quickly from their erstwhile mentors, the Kings Island Clown Band (KICB) and made some adjustments for the second season, which opened in the summer of 1988. The band roster expanded with the addition of two additional saxophone players, which enabled the band to play standard jazz and big band charts normally written for four- or five-part harmonies in the sax section. KDCB tapped Chris Lucy (tenor sax) and Teresa Alvis (alto sax) to join, once again recruiting from the ranks of the Lee Davis High School Band. This was to begin the precedent of recruiting exclusively from Lee Davis musicians. The new members also occasioned the beginning of one of the more controversial CB traditions, a CBer’s Rookie Year.
Roster
The band leader of KDCB II remained Steve Lambert, unanimously re-elected to this role by the CB. The trumpets this year included Steve, Tina Goodwin and Faron Miller. In addition to the two rookies, Teresa Alvis and Chris Lucy, returning saxophonists Chris King (alto) and Matthew Wright (tenor) rounded out the front line. The trombone section consisted of veterans John Robinson and Kevin Layell. The rhythm section also returned intact, with Lucas Gipson (snare), Ben Haley (bass drum) and Scott Smith (tuba). Cindi Wanamaker stayed on as the park supervisor (aka Band Mom) for KDCB.
Rookie Year
With two new CBers, the Clown Band had the opportunity to borrow another tradition from their Kings Island peers. The KICB reported a Rookie Year for as far back as any of them could remember, and few questioned the value of this character-building exercise. Rookies were expected to collect the uniforms from the laundry at the beginning of each day, fetch drinks and snacks on request from Veteran CBers, learn CB lore to be recited on demand, and generally bear the brunt of crusty Veteran ire and jokes.
Presumably, this treatment was designed to instill some humility in new CBers as well as remind them that their job was to make fools of themselves. It was, in truth, a mild form of hazing, but this first year of the KDCB tradition turned out to be fairly mild compared to later years. Part of that leniency was a learning curve for the veterans, who were still learning what it meant to have Rookies. Part of it was Teresa’s doing, as no one was quite sure where the boundaries were when it came to a female Rookie.
New Show Concept
One of the lessons learned from KDCB I was the grinding repetitiveness of playing the same show three times a day, six days a week, all summer long. Again taking a page from the KICB book, the KDCB learned additional songs that could be plugged in to various parts of the show to keep the performances fresh. In the month leading up to the start of the summer season, the KICB choreographer Dave Gooty was flown in to teach the nine choreographed songs. Music and dance rehearsals consumed many hours during the week of CB “Boot Camp” and the additional weekends spent learning both show and song.
The 1988 fanfare remained the 20th Century Fox theme. The shows then started with “Midnight Confessions,” the 1968 hit by The Grass Roots. “Get Me to the Church On Time” from the Lerner and Loewe musical My Fair Lady followed. In the number three slot, the band was able to choose between gag songs: the Irving Berlin classic “Alexander’s Ragtime Band” or “Dance of the Hours,” the song made famous by Spike Jones’ memorable “Hello Mudda, Hello Fadda.”
The gag song1Gag song: A performance that told a story, usually with much slapstick humor. The gag songs had most of the band standing still and playing (the bass drummer often unclipped his drum and sat on it) while one or more band members would dress in different costumes and engage the audience. was followed by another Irving Berlin tune, “Stepping Out With My Baby” which featured Steve and Teresa attempting to emulate (without much success) Astaire and Rogers to zany affect. The band then chose between two girl songs,2Girl song: A performance where a female from the audience would be selected to be serenaded, often with hilarious effect, by the band. The song principal would select a victim, er, assistant prior to the beginning of the song. Two additional CBers were the back-up dancers, usually presenting interpretive dance in support of the principal dancer. Girls songs almost inevitably ended with the principal dipping his “assistant” at the end of the song. “All of Me,” a timeless Louis Armstrong love song or “Hello My Baby,” the ragtime band/barbershop quartet standard. The finale was a exciting rendition of “To Life,” the rousing wedding song from Fiddler on the Roof, complete with Russian high kicks and the iconic Jewish line dance where the men slide forward on their knees. L’chai-im! The band’s exit tune continued to be the Flintstone’s theme, in keeping with the Hanna-Barbera roots of Kings Dominion.
Notable Events
Quasi-rookie. Tuba player Scott Smith went on an extended Latin Club trip in the middle of the summer season, requiring the band to find a stand-in tuba player. The band settled on Dave Whiteside, a tuba player known from Lee Davis High School, as a substitute. Dave and the band worked for several weeks to teach him the shows and the songs, and to indoctrinate him into the Clown Band life. Dave’s addition to the band provided more opportunity for the band to practice Rookie management techniques.
Unfortunately, since the practice was not well-established, the Rookies were often reluctant to carry out the seemingly arbitrary demands of Veteran CBers. This led to the famous “Teapot” incident. The Clown Band lounge was a tense place when Dave claimed he did not know the words to “I’m a Little Teapot” and refused to sing the song for Tina, leading to a shouting match. The issue was resolved when the Band forced Dave write down the words and walk downstairs to the Alpine Deli restaurant to sing “I’m a Little Teapot” in the middle of the lunch crowd. This became a benchmark for Rookie tasking and future Rookies were often measured by their ability to perform random “Teapot”-like performances at the whim of the Veterans.
Clown Band exchange program. The Kings Island Clown Band returned for another visit in 1988. Tina Goodwin’s parents hosted the KI band in the off hours, providing a flat space for sleeping and hours of entertainment in the basement billiards room. It was here one evening that Chris King conceived of the famous “Beer Knight” costume, consisting of a 12-pack box (the kind used for soft drinks, since Chris was too young to drink beer at the time) worn on the head. The hand holes became eye holes and a small section was ripped out to facilitate speaking. To complete the costume, place the box on the head and recite the Black Knight scene from Monty Python’s Quest for the Holy Grail until it gets old (which it never does!).
Other notable events in the KDCB II season include the infamous “yuck-yuck parts” episode and John Robinson’s famous pelvic thrusts, both unrelated to each other.
The thrust of the situation. While reviewing a video tape of a performance, the band made a startling discovery – John Robinson’s pelvic thrusts were incredibly hilarious to watch. As part of the choreography, the band members engaged in dance moves that included pelvis thrusts to accent musical themes in the songs. It turns out that John’s pelvis was incapable of exaggerated thrusts. His thrusts consisted of throwing the lower half of his torso forward, so that the entire portion of his body from the bottom of his rib cage to the top of knees arched forward in a painfully awkward movement. For those who know John, it should come as no surprise that this staid and level-headed man would have problems with this kind of movement. For his part, John is now a father of three and seems to have overcome this potentially disabiliting condition quite nicely, thank you very much!
Yuck-yuck parts. One of the most notorious incidents during KDCB II happened during one of the band’s after work gatherings. John Robinson’s parents had a pool, so his house was a popular destination in the summer evenings. During one particular evening, the decision was made to go skinny dipping in the pool. The lights in the backyard were doused and the band got into various stages of undress. At this point, Teresa had not made up her mind about whether to join in the activities. Ultimately, she decided to take some but not all of her clothes off for a dip in the water. At this point she announced rather loudly to the gathered CBers that she was getting into the water but that no one should look at her “yuck-yuck parts.” Needless to say, this infamous utterance has gone down in Clown Band history as one of the funniest statements ever made.
Website © 2007 Christopher King
